burgrs:

what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear 

AG

thatfunnyblog:

me when i have to present in class

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nyxweaver:

grandtrilobyte-eleshnorn:

nyxweaver:

sarkhan-volkswagen:

nyxweaver:

abzan-houses:

nyxweaver:

y’all remember that game in elementary school where each person would say one word and the next person would say a word etc so it’d create a cohesive story? let’s do that:

Two

Thousand

men

ate

their

dicks.

well playtime is over you’re all grounded

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jkellemn0p:

I actually really love it when someone remembers small details and quirks about me or addresses me by my name at unexpected times like at the end of a sentence and I don’t know why but I just really, really do.

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rneerkat:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

what do boxes breath

boxygen

image

i stand corrected

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pansoph:

it’s so nice being alive at the same time as you

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kayleefabulous:

MY ANACONDA-

image

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sadsk8r:

doctors: why are all your bones broken
me: totally gnarly kick flip
doctors: fucking savage bro

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breakfastburritoe:

*drinks water to avoid talking*

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jademonster42:

vannpires:

what month comes after september???

halloween

after that, at 61 days, is the longest month of the year, christmas

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spork:

when there’s a group of your friends hanging out and youre like trying to join the conversation but dont know howimage

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serenitizings:

Bad choices make good stories

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eilwaen:

looks like we got a lying whore

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sentimentalvelvet:

cartel:

mikemanmiller-us:

cartel:

if every mistake you’ve made was written in a book, would you read it?

Mine would be a 5 book trilogy with books as big as Harry Potter

trilogy.. 

””“5 book trilogy”“”“

AG